How to write a tribute for a loved one’s funeral
Five Soul-Stirring Questions to Guide Your Heart:
1. What do I wish I had said, but didn't get the chance to?
2. What is one memory that makes me smile every time I think of you?
3. What did you teach me - about life, love, or myself?
4. How has my life changed since you've been gone?
5. What do I hope you knew - without me ever having to say it?
​
Try writng it in a letter:
​
Dear [Name],
I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.
Sometimes the missing feels loud, and
sometimes it whispers through the quiet
moments. But always, always, you're with
me.
There are things I want to say - words I
maybe never found the courage or time to
speak. Today, I want to try.
[Insert your heart here. Write what you feel.
There’s no wrong way to speak love.]
I carry you with me - in memories, in the
lessons you left behind, and in the love that
doesn’t end.
Love always,
[Your Name]
​
​
Writing a tribute for a loved one’s funeral can be a difficult and emotional task. Trying to decide which memories to share and which exact words to use when writing a memorial speech isn’t always easy. To support you through the process, we’ve put together an expert guide on how to write a funeral tribute, along with in memoriam examples.
​
How to write a funeral tribute to someone who has passed away
Making a start is often the hardest part when writing a funeral tribute for someone who passed away, but take your time and don’t rush into writing straight away.
​
1. Do some research
​
Talking with friends and family can be a great way to start reflecting on what to include within a tribute. It’s likely that each person that encountered your loved one will remember them in a slightly different way. Perhaps there are some particularly memorable events which other family members or friends hold close to their heart.
​
It’s worth noting down any life details and memories shared by family and friends, even though you may not need to include them all. You’ll be able to pick out your favourite and most important ones after spending some time reflecting on them.
2. Make a list of your favourite memories
Now it’s time to reminisce on your own favourite memories of your loved one. This may be an emotional task, so make sure you take things at your own pace. Sometimes it can help to visit places that remind you of your loved one, as this can help to trigger memories.
​
Remember, this tribute is entirely unique to your loved one. Don’t feel pressured to only include major life details, anything that helps people to understand the type of person your loved one was is worth including. In addition, a funeral tribute doesn’t need to have a serious or solemn tone. If your loved one enjoyed having fun or making jokes, you should include this within your list of memories.
3. Take your time
As previously mentioned, the whole process of writing a tribute can be hard when dealing with grief. At each step of the task, make sure you take breaks and speak to someone you trust, if you need support.
​
Once you’ve collated your list of memories and details to include, you can start piecing the tribute together. You could start by planning it out and deciding what will be covered within each section. Perhaps you want to keep things chronological, or maybe you’d rather have three or four key points — it’s entirely your choice.
​
And when you’re ready to write your first draft, don’t expect perfection straight away. It doesn’t matter how many tries it takes before things start to seem right, just remember to take your time.
4. Write how you speak
It can be tempting to prioritise grammar when writing your funeral tribute, but this is by no means the most important element. Instead, try to write as you speak and keep the tone conversational. This helps to bring a sense of authenticity and makes it easier for the audience to feel your emotions. Imagine you’re speaking with friends about your loved one — that’s the type of tone you want to achieve. DO NOT USE Ai!
What should you include in a loved one’s funeral tribute?
​
There is no right or wrong answer for what should be included within a funeral tribute, but as a basis, you may like to include the following:
-
Notable achievements
-
Their personality
-
Their hobbies and passions
-
Their careers
-
Positive qualities
-
Their relationships with family and friends
-
Memorable stories
-
Their lasting legacy
How long should a funeral tribute be?
​
A funeral tribute is usually around three to five minutes long.It’s worth checking with the funeral director how long you’ll have to speak, as some venues will allocate a specific amount of time for the funeral as a whole.
It’s important that you keep the audience engaged with a speech that isn’t too long. It’s still possible to mention a variety of stories and memories within a matter of minutes, just make sure that you avoid spending too long on each individual point.
​
Who usually reads tributes at funerals?
The tribute is usually read by a close family member, friend or me Of course, reading out a tribute might make you feel emotional. For this reason, you can ask someone else to read it on your behalf. Or, you may like to ask another family member or friend to be on hand to step in if needed.
​
What’s the difference between a funeral tribute and a eulogy?
​
A funeral tribute and a eulogy both honour a deceased person, but they differ in their format and purpose. A eulogy is typically delivered during the funeral service, usually by me.
Eulogies tend to be more formal and structured, sharing memories and depicting the legacy of the person who has passed in roughly, a chronological order.
On the other hand, a funeral tribute can be written or spoken and may take different forms, such as a poem, song, or letter. Tributes often focus on personal feelings, expressing grief and love, whilst remembering their loved one’s spirit.
​
Funeral tribute examples
​
Funeral tribute for parent example
​
“Hello, I’m Hannah, John’s eldest daughter. My brother Tom and I would like to thank you for coming today. This was painful to write and I’m going to struggle reading it, so please bear with me. My brother is on hand to take over if need be. I’m going to tell you a couple of amusing stories about my Dad because he was rarely ever serious. He liked nothing better than making people laugh and playing jokes on us all. And I think he’d want to make us chuckle today. He was always there to put a smile on your face, sometimes without planning to. Like the time when…”
​
Funeral tribute for husband example
“It feels like I’ve lost my right arm. We complemented each other so well. I’ve always been highly strung and Jack was my calm. We argued as couples do, but only about the little things. I already miss him leaving wet towels on the floor and I wish he was there so I could moan about how he stacked the dishwasher for the millionth time! I’m going to share with you something that he did that was close to his heart that many people didn’t know he did. Jack was a volunteer for a local charity…”
​
Funeral tribute for friend example
“The first thing I noticed about my friend Emma was her laugh. Her laugh was so joyous that her whole body would shake and her eyes would light up. It was infectious; you couldn’t stay sad around her. That’s the Emma I want to celebrate today: someone who lived life to the fullest. I’m going to tell you a story from when we went travelling together after university. I’d never imagined I’d ever be scaling sand dunes at night on the beach, dressed as a nun, but these were the kind of incidents you’d find yourself in with Emma back then…”
​
I hope this guide has helped you to better understand the process of writing a funeral tribute for a loved one. Remember to take your time, keep it conversational and embrace the wonderful memories you shared together.
​
Based on © Memorials of Distinction 2025
​
​